Personal Sovereignty: Baby Carey
Personal Sovereignty: A Journey with Baby Carey
As members of the Xwlemi (Lummi) people, we are instilled with a deep sense of identity and heritage from a young age. Our elders pass down teachings that shape who we are and guide us through life. These beliefs, rooted in our culture, have fortified our spirit—what we call Schelangen.
When we discovered that our son Carey would face disabilities, we understood that our role as his parents was to embody strength, mindfulness, and an open heart. Carey is not just a child with challenges; he is a precious gift from the Creator, entrusted to us because we possess the resilience to support him. While there were moments of uncertainty, we drew upon the strength of our family, our community, and the power of prayer. We knew that Carey would be okay.
Carey was born at the University of Washington Hospital, surrounded by a team of over 30 medical students eager to learn. This moment felt profound, as we could contribute to their education while welcoming our son into the world. He spent a month in the NICU, where dedicated teams at both UW and Seattle Children's monitored his condition, conducting tests to understand his needs.
During this time, I spent many hours alone with Carey, while Keith cared for our older son, Connor. Due to COVID-19 restrictions, our interactions were limited, making the journey more isolating. Yet, through this solitude, we discovered invaluable insights about Carey and his future. We learned what aspects we could embrace and what worries could be set aside. Ultimately, we left the hospital with the knowledge that Carey has craniofacial differences, requires tube feeding, and is fully deaf. Each of these realities became part of our daily lives.
Before Carey’s arrival, we navigated numerous medical appointments, traveling from Seattle and back, starting at just 20 weeks into the pregnancy. The sheer number of doctors we encountered was overwhelming, but we were consistently met with exceptional care and support. At one point, we faced the difficult conversation about the possibility of not continuing the pregnancy. Guided by our Lummi beliefs, we respectfully chose to embrace Carey’s life, recognizing that he was already with us in spirit.
The transformation in our lives was profound. The journey with Carey was not like our experience with our first child, and adjusting to this new reality was challenging. The months in Seattle—before and after his birth—were particularly lonely. While I appreciated the comfort of our home, the absence of visitors made the experience even more difficult.
As we navigate this path with Carey, we are learning and growing together, embracing the unique life he brings into our world. His journey is not just about overcoming challenges but also about celebrating our family’s love, resilience, and the deep connections that bind us. In honoring Carey, we reaffirm our commitment to our heritage and the teachings of our elders, guiding us toward a beautiful future.